A public service announcement from the desk of Matthew A. Webber, esq.:
Dear friends,
I implore, beseech, cajole (and etc.) you and everyone you hold dear to stay as far away as possible, if not farther, from "Year One," a so-called "comedic" motion picture currently in theaters and starring Jack Black and Michael Cera as themselves.
As the second feature of a Sunday evening double feature (i.e., the movie you walked into without paying for), this talking picture is a mindless, yet harmless, divertissement, practically guaranteed to keep your fun-seeking mind off any number of un-fun real-world concerns such as the economy, unrest in Iran, and the deaths of Michael Jackson and that one informercial dude, in addition to your own more personal disappointment at being a less successful author than Lauren Conrad.
But as an entertainment product on which to spend, waste, blow (and etc.) your hard-earned and rapidly devaluing currency, this movie is, frankly, a coil of cornfed crap. It is guaranteed by yours truly to keep your fun-seeking mind from having any fun at all for the duration of its 90-minute run time.
I'm giddy, delirious, enraptured (and etc.) I saw this movie for free, because all I wasted was time.
In conclusion, I hope this missive finds you well! I also hope -- nay, pray -- that my impassioned words can save at least one of you, my dear friends, from killing your brain with this particular poisonous mushroom.
Dance. Rush the speakers that boom. Do ANYTHING in this solar system other than see "Year One."
Thank you for your time.
The end.
